-:- sky -:-
It’s not like the sky was falling.
It wasn’t. Skies don’t fall. They dance. Dip. Undulate. But they don’t fall. They’re attached. Firmly. Like me and my anchor. Laden, but upright. Necessary.
Maybe I’m lying. Maybe the sky does fall. It changes color and holds you up and keeps you down and everyone knows it breathes. Don’t all things that breathe fall down eventually? And what about stars and satellites?
They fall.
What makes me happy is waiting for a train I know is going to come. Waiting and whistling. Thinking about pottery wheels and flight and why water doesn’t always work. Eager, but not overly so. In check. Thinking about how to make myself hurt more. How to fake love less. What keeps me thinking and waiting is this: tightening screws on things that wobble ever so slightly. Short answers to tedious questions. Frogs you can keep for more than a day. Phrases you can parse. I’m thinking of rocks and finding things that glow and are natural and things that hum in me and not at me. Crow-hops and lasers and sliders that tail. Automatic-focus.
The point isn’t that I’m waiting for the train. I’m not. The train is waiting for me. I need to have earned it. To be knee-deep in something. Then it’ll be on. Chest-deep in something. Shaking and consumed. Crackling and quivering. It’ll come when I’m ready to receive it. It’ll come and I’ll stand up tall when I have to. In spite of the station and the empty and hindsight. In spite of the sky and layers. The blue. That’s the deal. Petals. Our deal. Lit up. Because I say so and sometimes that’s all it takes.
The sky is plaintive and so am I.
I’ve got answers. And anger. And answers. And grey hairs. And answers. And I can still whisper half-truths that are answers. I can rock bloated shades for heavy moon and discretion if that’s what I need. It’s not about what you say anymore. It’s how you say it and for how long and it isn’t about who listens. It used to be about that, but the crazy wind went zephyr and people stopped caring and floated and stopped listening and came undone. The sky fell and people slid sideways or backwards and things like me and what I need changed.
Hat low. Hands engaged. Ready.